picture by Glenn Harvey
When reflecting on our good and bad habits, we tend to evaluate how we behave: how we eat, sleep, react to situations, exercise, work, etc. For example, there may be people who habitually respond: "I don't have time" when being asked to do something. Not even checking their schedule, or planning their day, but an automatic response with little or no thought. But habits are also the way we think and feel, our mindsets, our emotions. We can have the habit of projecting the worst possible scenario as soon as an obstacle comes our way, feel less confident when we are going to speak in front of people (based negative thoughts), or maybe feel resentment when we are given feedback (reminding us of our parents when we were 13).
Some consider that these are part of our personality and temperament, and are not possible to change.
However, research on neuroplasticity has shown that we can change, even the most rooted habits, being able to re-route the thought and feeling patterns in our lives. This is where therapy and coaching come in, helping people have a safe place where they can understand where those thoughts and feelings come from, name them (bring them out), and once identified, decide how to react to them differently when they come, and even better if we anticipate them. It is a choice, but we have to train our brain and body to take a different route. From my learnings in neuroplasticity, I can share that there are 7 keys to greater change: focus, practice, purpose, novelty, fun, relationships, and rest.
During the past months, I have been working on changing the way I feel when my pre-teen daughter does not seem to listen or do as I ask. I am also practicing feeling confident and thinking that sharing my thoughts through social media can be of value to someone out there. I still have feelings against these, but as I said, this is like training for a marathon- every time my brain tells me to go back to my old thoughts, I purposely force my thoughts back into a better direction.
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